Emergence

Waking up in a cold and desolate place was hard: The light streamed in through a crack in the heavy blackout curtains. I’d pour myself into the water that streamed over my skin and dissolve into my own mind.

Readying myself to say goodbye to the harsh daylight was harder: Stepping outside and knowing that those few moments in a morning were the fresh air that I would breath, the life that I would see and the only real ground I would feel beneath my feet until night had fallen.

Everyday for months I would lose the natural light, say goodbye to the real world and play at politeness with people who were consumed within themselves.

Everyone has a tipping point, a breaking point.The day where my morality was questioned was that day.

And so I relished those moments outdoors and drew energy to change. I was blessed with a single chance.

I shed the weight like a tree shaking off its leaves to embrace winter, and then shedding the cold snow as it thaws.

Here I am, emerging. The light is harsh but the beauty it reveals is worth the strain it brings to my sight.

Hello daytime, I look forward to waking up and all the things that follow.

I look forward to writing them down.

Daisy x

Love

Love swept away 8 months of my life. 

April, and love brought me five daisies, planted, for each month it had been there, as new ones bloomed.

In May, challenges arose when love was faced with hate from outside our walls, and it stood beside me through thick and thin.

June, Love blossomed like a flower when we found a new home, together.

As the light reached it’s peak, July  brought hope and a clarity.

August had love give me wings to fly, to feel free, finally.

September, Love wanted to expand our family and so we adopted Labrador, he is happy and so are we.

In October, Love made my dreams of him come true. One sunny day, one treasure hunt, one question. A sparkling ring now sits on my finger, love got stronger and love will stand.

A year was celebrated in November, the closing of the first chapter, the celebration of a new family, visiting old memories with new haziness.

Now, in December, I realize how grateful I am for that man, Love, our home, and what has arisen from the hard times faced.

I am no longer tired, but ready to stand for love, for us, for our future!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

x

Last Time I Checked

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you get sick. You get sick and you’re not sure what to do and suddenly everything seems unclear.

But one thing is clear to me:

Last time I checked I told someone I loved them because of everything they were. Infuriating, stubborn, unmoving but caring, helpful and someone I couldn’t live without.

Last time I checked I was with a guy who put himself on the line for what he believes in who has a job that makes him so much more than just my amazing man because of all the lives he has and will impact in the most positive way I can think of.

Last time I check I had a hand to hold that was strong even if words weren’t there and a face that always smiles when I cry because it doesn’t know what to say but wants to share a little ray of hope.

Last time I checked that man was in my heart as it beat, belonging to him were a world of hopes and dreams that I will never stop being amazed by, for as long as I have him, on the days when life throws a curve ball right at me.

My latest and first optimism in a while: Appreciate love, however you find it, however long you see it, because it’s the glimmer of hope in the darkest corners of our world and the reason so many hearts still beat.

Daisy x

January

The Blues have hit,

I’m here but not really present.

This song echoes through my head with every action I’ve undertaken in the last week, and It’s especially fitting.

Thus, I note a temporary pause in comment other than to give you this,

Daisy x