Work-life Imbalance

Wandering into the office with a smile on their face “isn’t it good to be back?”

Honestly, I’d rather have had another day off to get lost in nature. But here we are.

Tap. Tap. Tap, away on a machine I can’t stare at for too long without changing the colour scheme.

Scribbling away on a notebook, then another and another, ripping out messy useless pages. outdated, after just two weeks.

All set and after a quick depressing lunch of microwave made pasta, still working.

Repeat the process above and it’s 5pm. I look at the space I made on my desk for flowers but don’t make a promise I can’t keep that it will be filled the next day.

The director is right behind me almost the whole way home. Anxiety, and a growling engine from where I nearly stall in eagerness to get home.

Walking through the door and turning on the lights, lighting some candles. No smell of food.

Making pasta (the real kind), pouring in fresh ingredients, turning on some TV for sound that is more than just my own mind ticking away.

Sitting down to reply to a letter, delicately swirling the letters. So engrossed I didn’t see the mistake, the most beautiful crossed out words.

I dissolve into the brand new sofa and that’s me for an hour, rest doesn’t wait for sleep.

Breathing in the candle light, stomach filled with food that I ate thoughtfully pondering the colours of its nutrition. Balance doesn’t have to be perfect.

Just a moment where you resolve those niggles from the day. Pour in some sounds from the earth and take a moment to eat well and be human in the most simple way possible.

When you love your job it becomes your life, but there’s not quite a balance when you find you have a deficit in you personal goals.

My resolution for this year was not to restrict, but to allow myself to do as I felt I needed to when I could and that is to restore a balance of peace.

Congratulations on making today a success, whatever you did to acknowledge what you needed.

Daisy x

 

 

Emergence

Waking up in a cold and desolate place was hard: The light streamed in through a crack in the heavy blackout curtains. I’d pour myself into the water that streamed over my skin and dissolve into my own mind.

Readying myself to say goodbye to the harsh daylight was harder: Stepping outside and knowing that those few moments in a morning were the fresh air that I would breath, the life that I would see and the only real ground I would feel beneath my feet until night had fallen.

Everyday for months I would lose the natural light, say goodbye to the real world and play at politeness with people who were consumed within themselves.

Everyone has a tipping point, a breaking point.The day where my morality was questioned was that day.

And so I relished those moments outdoors and drew energy to change. I was blessed with a single chance.

I shed the weight like a tree shaking off its leaves to embrace winter, and then shedding the cold snow as it thaws.

Here I am, emerging. The light is harsh but the beauty it reveals is worth the strain it brings to my sight.

Hello daytime, I look forward to waking up and all the things that follow.

I look forward to writing them down.

Daisy x